Adopt don't shop? Not so fast.

I’ve been meaning to write this note for a long while. A reddit post prompted me to sit down and actually do it.

I’ve been the fur dad to four dogs so far in my life (not counting family pets when I was a kid). Onyx was a black Labrador / pit bull / Australian Shepherd mix we found as part of a litter, “free to a good home,” in a play pen outside a Stater Bros. in Big Bear. I wasn’t his dad for very long - I was living in a college dorm and my push to get off campus housing permission as a freshman wasn’t successful. But good friends adopted him and I got to watch him grow and thrive with his two Labrador brothers-by-adoption.

It was about 14 years later before I decided I was ready, and I adopted Maynard from a rescue as a puppy. He was the best. Seriously, I know everyone says that about their dogs, but he really was. Quiet, mild mannered, polite, well trained, playful, energetic. He passed July 3, 2019, just shy of his 10th birthday.

When Maynard was about two (in 2011), we pulled a street stray rescue mutt from the county pound. She was an adult when we met her, the pound said she was about a year, and based on her contracting Oral Papilloma Virus‡ about 6 months after she came home, that’s probably pretty close. She’s had a hard life; this, for example, is from her paperwork while she was at the county shelter:

And ... I’ve spent a lot of time working with Astrid (née A4364038), by myself, with trainers, etc. She was borderline feral when she came to live with us. Then there was separation anxiety. She destroyed a love seat. She’ll never a the easy going, friendly, walk up to a stranger and their dog and do the butt-sniff-dance dog. I once had a friend, who was running her own dog rescue organization, describe Astrid as “unadoptable.” I’ve heard a lot of stories, some of them heart-wrenching, about rescue dogs who just never quite got past whatever trauma they’d experienced. Ruby. Jack. Others. :( (Astrid’s no Ruby or Jack, she’s never bitten me or gone after another dog - she’s been attacked multiple times :( )

When Maynard passed, Astrid was clearly depressed. She’s always been a daddy’s girl, but very independent. She went from sleeping in the living room, or at my feet, to needing to be curled up (all ~45 lbs of her) on a pillow next to my head. Spent all of her time looking for Maynard and whining when she couldn’t find him. I needed the hole he’d left filled, too, to be honest.

I hate to admit it, but knowing the lead times that can be involved, I was on the phone with breeders the night Maynard passed, through sobs, looking for another male Labrador to join us. I found a woman in Santa Maria who had a 2 week old litter of yellow Labs, and none of the boys was yet spoken for (all the girls had deposits down), so I’d get first pick.

That was important. A4364038 was bonded with Maynard but is very particular about the dogs she’ll trust to be around her. (I had the sweetest, calmest, most mellow pit bull for about a month (I was only supposed to be an emergency foster, a pit stop, but then COVID hit, and...), and it was only the last few days when she could be in the same room without visible, crippling anxiety.)

I tried to adopt another rescue. I really did. But I needed a young (~8 week old) puppy, one with no baggage, one that would mold to my senior street stray and who would be young enough to get the “puppy pass” from the queen of the house. I needed a Labrador (or, at least, that was one breed I was familiar enough with to know, if I picked the right one, it wouldn’t grow up to be aggressive towards my damaged ex-urchin.) I went out to meet several litters of rescued “Labrador” puppies. “Well, they’re Lab mixes.” Uh, no, those are Rottweilers. Very adorable Rottweilers, but Rottweilers. There’s no universe where '038 accepts an adult Rottie into our pack.

So for us, it was a dog from a breeder. I met the litter and the mom (and dad, and the humans they lived with) at 4 weeks, and met with a trainer at seven weeks to evaluate the puppies and pick Brian.

And it worked. A week later, after a brief meeting on neutral ground and a walk around the block, Brian joined our pack, and Astrid accepted him immediately. They were sharing the same dog bed the first afternoon! The next day, the mischievous little imp was harassing his sister, while she engaged with him very appropriately.

Bonus, because Brian’s AKC (full registration), I’ve been able to start exploring the world of dog shows. Bonus upon bonus, because he’s a show dog, he’s exempt from Los Angeles County’s requirement he be neutered at 4 months (which is far too young!).

So. Yeah. Three of my four dogs were adoptions, but I shopped for Brian. Deliberately, to maximize compatibility with my existing senior rescue. I fly rescue dog missions for Pilots n' Paws. I've fostered three rescue dogs and found forever homes for two of them. But this whole culture of shaming people for daring to acquire a non-rescue dog ...

Oh. And don’t get me started on the bizarrely strict criteria most rescue organizations have before they’ll allow you to adopt. The 17 page application form. The home check. The arbitrary denial when you don’t have a home with a six foot fenced yard. (In Los Angeles. “Only millionaires need apply.”) My big dogs have been perfectly healthy, well exercised (I live in a very dog friendly apartment complex with like a mile of walking trails, and we’re a half-mile walk from an active municipal dog park), never overweight, etc. My vets can attest to the level of care my pups get (Maynard was receiving CHOP protocol chemotherapy for his lymphoma). They eat good food. Astrid goes sheep herding and to agility classes; Brian’s been through puppy preschool and obedience and is now in conformation classes. I’ve had Astrid almost 10 years, I had Maynard almost 10 years, I’ve raised two puppies through the “destroy everything!” phase Labs go through. Etc. But because I don’t work from home and I don’t have a yard, I’m automatically disqualified by most rescue organizations. (I could rant more, but I’d wear out my keyboard.)

Anyway. Respect both choices, you don’t know what else is going on.

 

‡  Looked like this: