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Installing new CPU(s) in a MacPro 5,1

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My old, dead, Mac Pro had a 6-core X5680 Xeon at 3.33 GHz. The “new” one came with dual 6-core X5650 2.66 GHz processors. Things have gotten so cheap, I picked up a pair of X5675s (3.06 GHz 6-core, the fastest processors Apple shipped in a dual processor Mac Pro 5,1 configuration) on eBay for $19 with free shipping. So now I had to install them. (I haven’t installed a processor since the days of the Socket 370 . (Edit: I’d only installed one processor, an i5-3570K in a Hackintosh I built in 2011. Forgot about that...)) (Also edit: I looked up the TDP for these processors; the X5675s are 95W, while the X5860s and higher are 130W, so 70W additional in a dual processor setup. Stuck with the 3.06s because I was worried about the additional heat. Stick with what Apple did stock...)   My exhaustive 5 minutes of Google searching found several videos that came close to being a full guide, but nothing comprehensive, so I figured I’d write out my experience here. The results were awesome, m...